2/27/2023 0 Comments How to fuck a dolphin![]() ![]() Remember what your mom told you about trains and get out of the way. Also, be careful : when those things shoot, they shoot. Missionary position or anal sex are both out of the question. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length.ĭue to the size of a dolphin's member, the best you can do with a male dolphin is to masturbate him. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?Ī male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. This is what being an Insolitologist is all about, folks. On the other hand, the female's genitals will become pink and swollen, and she may nuzzle against you.Īlso, I still can't believe I am writing about having sex with dolphins. It is not mentioned if the dolphin likes to have his penis wrapped around some dink's arm. The dolphin's penis is also prehensile and flexible, and you can wrap it around your arm. The male will sport a long erection that would make most men jealous ("anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose", we are advised). The male has two larger slits, and the female has one large slit and two small mammary slits.įiguring out whenever your prospective mate is aroused is also relatively straightforward. To do the first, you need to look at their head (males have a fatter, rounder head), or on the dolphin's belly, between opposite the dorsal fin and the tail. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbor of my resident city.Īnd if the Coast Guard comes by, you're on your own. Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. You are instead advised to try to find a beach where dolphins live. He'd make a good meal.Īquariums and zooz are out of the question : too many witnesses. Here's Vladimir Putin being kissed by a dolphin. But dolphins ? Anyway, if you want to have sex with a dolphin (and who doesn't ?), this is the guide for you. There are people who are aroused by feet, shoes, and even shoelaces. ![]() I am perfectly aware there are many kinds of sex fetishes out there. ![]()
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